


in the dark

by twentyoneshias



Category: Twenty One Pilots, Tyler Joseph - Fandom, josh dun - Fandom, joshler - Fandom
Genre: Bottom!Tyler, Daddy Kink, Gay, Homophobia, M/M, Top!Josh, Twink, josh prolly smokes weed, low key depressing, prolly drugs, satan must love me, smut whoops, tyler's a twink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:20:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8910643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyoneshias/pseuds/twentyoneshias
Summary: Josh and Tyler have been together a while. When they go on tour they carry out a secret relationship. Do Tyler's thoughts really make Pandora's box contents look non violent?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So i'm new here. this is me breaking through this glass ceiling.

It's the last song of the night Josh, keep your shit together. Keep it together. Drum. Breathe. You're ok. I look over at Tyler and bite my lip. By god he looks sexy as fuck up on the amp dancing around. He twirls and looks back at me and winks. Fuck i can't handle this. I look away quickly. I look out at the crowd and try to ignore the growing pain in my shorts. At the end of the song i stand, bow, smile and literally fucking run off of the stage. I hear Tyler apologizing to the crowd for me just running off but i don't care. I need to get in the shower. I need to like get theses thoughts out of my head. The last time me and Tyler had sex i got a little too rough and left bruises and a few hickey's and Jenna thought Tyler cheated on her with a girl. A girl. Tyler's 150 percent gay. It's just funny that we're the only ones that know it. Anyways i grab some clothes and i hear tyler run onto the bus i turn around and he jumps onto the bed. I sigh and shake my head, walking into the bathroom. I can't lose control again. I can't hurt him. I can't destroy what him and Jenna built for themselves. I start the shower and i hear Tyler whine. I peek my head out. "what?" I ask and pull my tank top off.  
"Joshhhhhhh you just walked awayyyyy" he whines  
"Yeah i know" i mumble and shut the door. I strip and get under a cold stream of water. Calm down josh. I take a deep breath and try to push the thought of Tyler out of my mind. I hear the bathroom door open.  
"Josh, what's wrong? why don't you want to have sex with me?" Tyler says in a soft voice, his voice cracking slightly. Oh god. He's gonna cry. I peek my head out off the shower curtain and see tears running down his face.  
"Fuck Tyler nononononono baby it's not like that at all!" I say, panicked and shut the water off, I grab my towel that's on the hook by the edge of the shower and wrap it around my waist. I push the curtain back and get out quickly, wrapping him in a hug.  
"Then tell me why you just ignored me back there" He says his voice still wavering, i can tell he's trying to stop crying. I hurt this poor smol bean. I try to wipe his tears but they reproduce faster than i can wipe them away.  
"I just don't want to ruin things with you and Jenna. I know your parents don't approve of gays and neither do my parents. The last time we did you got in a lot of trouble and Jenna almost came with us this time. Remember? It's not because i don't want to because i do. I really do." I try to explain and he just nods and pulls away from me. I pull him right back into my arms and kiss his forehead. "I love you more than anything Ty." I say softly  
"I love you too" he mumbles, still upset with me. I sigh and let him go. I get dressed and walk out to the living room. I grab my one hitter and start smoking. I need to chill the fuck out and stop stressing so damn much. I sit on the couch and keep smoking. Tyler saunters over and sits on my lap. I squirm slightly and bite my lip.  
"Ty. Off. Now" I say and look at him stone-faced.  
"No." Tyler says and wiggles around on my crotch.  
"Tyler i'm serious" I say and try to scoot him off of me. My pants are getting painfully tight.  
"So am I. I really don't care if Jenna thinks i'm cheating. I want you. Point blank period." He says and looks me in the eyes. I kiss him deeply.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snoRTS   
> ok every time i start this i don't finish so imma power through let's go

The taste of Tyler mixed in with the buzz the weed was giving me plus the fact i was already hard from Tyler squirming around on my lap just fired me up. I needed Tyler and he know that, and used it to his advantage. after a heated makeout session he gets up, sauntering over to the bed, his hips swinging ever so slightly. Fuck. This kid doesn't even know what he does to me. I follow him after a minute of starting at his perky ass walking in those tight ass jeans, showing off every curve. i pin him to the bed and kiss his neck roughly before he can even process what's going on. I hear a sigh of pleasure from tyler and he bucks his hips up "Oh how cute, so desperate" i say smirking. I shit you not, Tyler whines. fucking whines. "use your words baby what do you want? I don't understand whines" I say smirking   
"I want you Josh. I want to feel you all over me. make me whine, moan, and scream your name. please josh" he says in a low voice, full of lust. I pull his shirt and jeans off in record time.   
"gonna make you feel good baby" i whisper in his ear before kissing as his jawline and rubbing his clothed member. He shudders underneath me and lets out a slow and soft moan. I watch as he lets his eyes flutter shut. After a few moments i pull away and his eyes open as he whines at the lack of me touching him. I smirk and pull my tank top and shorts off. I feel his cold hands on my chest and stomach. Oh god. I feel myself shudder. Fuck. I kiss him again, immediately sliding my tongue into his mouth. I explore every inch of his mouth, earning a soft sigh from Tyler. I grind my hips against him, just trying to get friction. I kiss down to his neck, straight to his most tender spot. I grind against him again.  
"d-daddy" he moans quite loudly. Daddy? that's new. but i like it. I pull back and look at him, his face is flushed, hair a mess, and eyes squeezed shut.  
"daddy huh?" I smirk. his eyes open and he looks sort of frantic, i think he just realized what he said.   
"o-oh um sorry josh it just sort of slipp-" I cut him off with a kiss to the lips   
"I like it babyboy" I reply before pulling down his boxers, teasingly slow. A small whine erupts from Tyler. Nono this won't do, having a whining princess wriggle underneath you. "good princess's don't move without permission" I growl into the crook of his neck. "Choose your punishment. 10 spanks, ties, or no cumming tonight" I say, looking at him. With wide eyes he replies in a soft voice  
"t-ties please daddy" he says. I grab the belt that was on tyler's pants and tie his hands to the headboard. my eyes look over his body. I bite my lip   
"Fuck babyboy you look so good like that. Tied up, hard, and desperate" i say leaning down to kiss his stomach gently. A small gasp escapes tyler's slightly swollen lips. I leave hot kisses all over his chest and stomach, sure to leave some hickeys and i notice him pulling at the restraint around his wrists. "do you want me in you babyboy?" i ask smirking, giving him permission to talk. He nods frantically   
"please daddy, need you daddy" he says, slightly breathless and already incapable of complete sentences. I pull my boxers off and grab a bottle of lube from the top drawer of our dresser. I put some on my fingers before sliding 2 fingers inside of him to start with. A gasp comes from Tyler and he squeezes his eyes shut. I start to move my fingers in a scissoring motion, stretching him before adding in a third finger. An eruption of moans comes from tyler and with each sound he made i swear i got a little more hard if that's even possible. I start to angle my fingers in different directions until a loud moan escapes tyler's lips and his hips unwillingly buck forward.   
"there it is" I smirk, i had found his prostate. I pull my fingers out of him and he whimpers at the loss. "shh baby 'm gonna make you feel good" I say, coating myself in lube. I shiver slightly at the contact but make sure i don't completely lose control of myself. "remember the safeword we agreed on?" I say. he nods. "what is it princess?" I ask  
"smoke" he says in a shaky voice, i can tell he's already gone. I line myself up with him and slide in. Although i had prepped him he's still reALLY tight. Tyler lets out a near pornographic moan and pulls harder on the restraint. I pull almost all the way out before ramming back in. Oh fuck he's driving me wild. Tyler's back arches off the bed as he moans again. I angle myself to where i know i'll hit his prostate.   
"No cumming until i say so" I say in a stern voice and he can only nod at this point. And with that i start moving fast, and hitting his prostate hard. I wrap my hand around Tyler's cock and stroke it in sync with my thrusts. It doesn't take very long for me to feel the tension in my stomach building up. Between Tyler's moans and how tight he was it's hard not to get close that fast. My thrusts get slower and sloppier as i get closer and closer to my climax.  
"d-daddy!!" Tyler moans loudly, purple bruises already forming around his wrists from pulling so hard. That's all it took to make me climax.   
"cum for me baby you did such a good job" I said, after riding out my climax. Right after that he came with a loUD moan. not that i'm complaining. It's the most beautiful noise i've ever heard. His cum covers both of out stomachs. I smirk and pull out slowly. I kiss his forehead as i pull off the belt. I go into the bathroom to get a warm and damp washcloth to clean us up with. When i walk back into the room, Tyler's already fast asleep. I chuckle and clean up his mess. I toss the rag aside and lay next to him, pulling him close and pulling the blanket over us. I hold him tightly as i fall asleep. "I love you Tyler Joseph" I whisper before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> def not the end of this story


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Josh i'm so dun with her

I wake up to a phone ringing. Is someone trying to facetime me? I reach over and try to grab my phone, that's on the nightstand. i look at it and it's not my phone. I feel Tyjo stir next to me. He rubs his eyes and then yawns. "Jish who's phone is that?" he asks in a sleepy voice.  
"It's yours baby" I say and kiss his forehead. He giggles and looks at his phone, his face instantly drops. The screen reads 'My Wifu'. Oh it's Jenna. What an amazing surprise. We're both still naked from last night and cuddled rather close. I rush to get out of the frame before he actually answers.   
He finally answers the call and is mat by Jenna saying how much she loves and misses him. It actually makes me sick to my stomach. I throw some basketball shorts on and go to smoke a hit. If i'm not high i can't handle the thought much less the sound of Jenna fucking Black. I refuse to call her Jenna Joseph. He doesn't love her. I notice the conversation turn though. She's yelling at him.   
"WHY ARE THERE HICKIES ON YOUR NECK TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH?!" I hear her scream. Fuck fuck fuck.   
"they're not hickies jenna. Me and Josh were wrestling around last night and he showed me this weird ass move and it left a few bruises" Tyler says, trying to explain. We did wrestle around but not in the way he's trying to explain.   
"I'm coming out there to finish the tour." Jenna declares. Fuck! we have like a good 4 months of touring left. I fucking knew we shouldn't've fucked last night. I knew it. But Tyler wanted to and he said he didn't care about Jenna and he got what he wanted. This put a damper on everything honestly.   
"O-Ok that's fine" Tyler says in a small voice. He's trying not to sound disappointed but i can tell he is.   
"I'll be at the show in Chicago later. Bye I love you" She says before hanging up. I'd smoked about 4 hitters by the time the conversation was over and i'm baked as a cake honestly. I look up at Tyler as he's putting some boxers on. He looks at me with sad eyes.   
"c'mere baby boy" I say and open my arms. He walks over and plops into my lap. I wrap my arms around him. "It's ok babe. We'll be able to get around her while she's around." I say reassuringly.  
"I'm so tired of hiding daddy. It's so exhausting. She's always 'Tyler this' and 'Tyler that' and she's so needy. Why is she calling me at 7 in the morning? it's so stupid" Tyjo rambles. I can tell he's upset. He lays his head on my shoulder and pouts. he looks so cute all pouty and upset. I gently rub his lower back and kiss his forehead, trying to comfort him. "I don't want to see her later" he says.   
"I know baby but it's still early maybe you should get some more sleep" I say. He nods and gets up.   
"will you cuddle with me daddy?" he asks in a soft, really cute voice. I could never say no to him. He rubs his eyes and yawns cutely. That was just the icing on the cake.   
"Of course i will baby boy" I say and lead him over to the bed. We lay down and soon enough we're both asleep. It's pretty restless though considering Jenna was on both of our minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend went to the tøp concert today


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a flashback to their first time ;) requested by Sophie

Me and Tyler hanging out and joking around like usual. Jenna is in their hotel room and we're in mine, laying in bed watching a movie and scrolling through twitter. I snicker when someone sends me a fanfic of me and Tyler, sure i know i'm gay but tyler's with jenna i know he doesn't want me, right? I hand him my phone, smirking "do you ever read any of these?" I ask, curious. The response i was expecting was "hell no, i'm not gay" but alas i was met with a cherry red face and no reply. "Tyler?" i say, trying to get him to look at me  
"hmm?" he says but keeps his eyes trained to my phone   
"do you ever think about it? think about us?" I ask. he hesitantly looks up at me and shakes his head no frantically. "you've been my best friend for a long time now, i know when you're lying" I say. He just looks away, defeated. His puppy dog eyes just looking at the TV. I climb on top of him and kiss him before he can object to anything. I expected him to push me away, or freeze or something, but he's a guy that keeps me on my toes. He actually kisses back. Me and my best friend Tyler Joseph are kissing, and his wife, i repeat w i f e is across the hall. He parts his lips slightly, giving me access and i happily oblige, sliding my tongue into his mouth. He taste like vanilla and mint and it's so intoxicating. I swipe my tongue across every surface in his mouth. I hear a soft whimper rise from his chest. I pull away from the kiss, mostly for breath and he surprises me again, by pulling me in for another kiss, i smirk and kiss him again. He'll never get old, i swear he's who i'm supposed to spend my life with. I pull away from the kiss and immediately i kiss his neck. there's so much sexual tension in here you can cut it with a knife. He lets out these small noises that are somewhere between a whimper and a whine and it's so fucking attractive. On top of that his hands are in my hair, tugging gently. I slide my hands under his shirt and caress his sides as i'm kissing his neck, sure not to leave hickies.   
"J-Josh stop teasing and just fuck me~" Tyler says whining. Oh my god did Tyler just really say that? I pull away and look at him   
"Say that again" I say, my voice lower than normal  
"Fuck me please~" Tyler says in an innocent way that drives me n u t s. The way his eyes are big, and his pupils are dilated and he's laying here, letting me touch him like this, is just making me lose my mind. I start to strip him, sure to take my time. I love teasing him, hearing his whimpers, and more importantly, i love hearing him beg. "Josh you're teasing me" he pouts   
"yeah because it's hot and i know you like it" I say kissing across his chest. Tyler strips me of my clothes rather quickly, becoming impatient. I chuckle softly "I find it cute that you're incredibly impatient." i say. Tyler just rolls his eyes and pulls me in for a kiss. As we're making out i reach in my nightstand drawer and pull out a travel size bottle of lube. I open it and Tyler pulls away, blushing a deep shade of crimson. "Ty we don't have to do anything" I says, smiling sweetly at him   
"nonono i want to" he insists. I nod and cover myself in lube, biting my lip in anticipation. I'm about to fuck tyler joseph, i can't believe it. I look up at him, waiting for the go ahead. He slowly nods his head and that's all i need before i slowly ease myself into him. God damn he's so fucking tight. I hear a pained whimper come out of him and i look down at him. His face is scrunched up and he's gripping onto my shoulders for dear life. I keep pushing myself into his slowly until i bottom out. I stay still for a few moments, waiting for tyler to adjust. When his face relaxes i start to move, slowly. He moans in time with my thrusts and i keep the slow and steady pace until he moans out "f-faster". That's all i needed, starts thrusting at a steadily increasing speed until Tyler is a panting, moaning mess underneath me. His hands are in my hair and he pulls on it every time i hit a certain spot inside of him. Everything about this absolutely consumes me. I keep going at a rather fast pace and slam into him harder. "josh! i'm gonna- i'm gonna~" is all he got out before white hot stripes shoot out onto mine and his stomachs. Just knowing that i'm just one who made him do that, made him cum untouched, was enough for me to reach my breaking point. I cum inside of him and he lets out one last moan before i pull out and lay next to him panting. I look over at him. His hair is a mess, sweat is making his body glisten,there's cum on his stomach, and his legs are trembling, all because of me. That's probably to hottest thing i've ever seen in my life. "I don't want this to be a one time thing, it's to great of a thing to just let it go. I'm sure no one else will be able to get me to this point" Tyler says, his voice shaky.  
"Whatever you want Tyjo, You should probably get cleaned up before Jenna comes over here wondering where you are" I say, putting my arms behind my head. Tyler nods and walks, well more like stumbles, into the bathroom. "Ty am i going to have to help you to your room?" I ask, chuckling  
"yeah probably, my legs feel like Jell-o" he responds from the bathroom, cleaning himself off. I smirk and walk in to clean myself off as well. Tyler kisses my cheek and cleans me off. I smile at him   
"go get dressed babe" I say and slap my hand over my mouth. "I'm sorry i don't know if you want a relationship or anything it's just a habit to call the person you love babe and i'm sorry" I babble on and on and Tyler cuts me off with a kiss.   
"It's ok, i'd love to be in a relationship with you" he responds. We go back in the room and get dressed quickly. it's around 2 AM and i know jenna's probably worried. We walk over and tyler unlocks his room before walking in.   
"where were you?" i hear jenna say in a snarky voice.

I shot awake with sweat covering my body and a raging boner. Tyler's laying next to me giggling. "Let me help you with that daddy"


	5. chapter 5

"Let me help you with that daddy" Tyler says in a soft innocent voice. Oh my god i want to fuck him so bad right now, but i also want to take my time. I want to hear him whimper and let out soft little moans. I nod, giving him the go ahead. He sits on top of my hips and leans down, kissing my neck. My hands immediately find their way to his ass. I give a small squeeze and he lets out a small squeak. These sweatpants are so damn uncomfortable right now. I just want to bend him over and fuck him until he can't walk straight. Tyler Joseph you do the craziest things to me. Tyler giggles "you drive me crazy too daddy" he pulls away briefly from my neck to say.

I laugh "did i say that out loud?". Tyler just giggles and nods. He starts to undress himself and I hold onto his hips, watching him. When he's down to just his boxers he tugs lightly on my sweatpants. getting the hint i slide out of my pants and look up at him. 

"daddy can i ride you? pretty please?" He asks, his bottom lip pouty, and big dough eyes. How can i say no to this beautiful princess. 

"since you asked so nicely, and because you look so pretty, yes baby boy, you can ride daddy" I say smiling at him. His face breaks out in a smile, revealing his perfect smile. even though some of his teeth are crooked it's so perfectly imperfect. I take off our boxers and i run my hand up and down his back, with just my fingertips. Tyler shudders and goosebumps break out across his skin as his eyes flutter shut. "do you like it when i'm gentle?" i ask. he just nods in response. "But you love it when i'm rough, correct?" I say, in more of a demanding tone than a questioning one. Tyler lets out a whimper and nods. "use your words baby" i say in a dominant voice.

"y-yes daddy" he says, already stuttering. I grab a bottle of lube from the bedside table and put some on my fingers and start to guide my hand to tyler's hole before he stops me. "I don't wanna be prepped daddy, i just want you now" he says being all pouty and cute. How the hell is he so damn cute and drop dead sexy at the same time? 

"Ok princess, if you think you can handle it" I say and slick myself with the lube that's on my fingers. Tyler watches hungrily. When i'm done he immediately lowers himself onto me. Oh god, i swear feeling him will never get old. Tyler's eyes are squeezed shut and his hands are on my chest. He uses my chest to push himself back up and then sits back down. He's moaning every time he moves. He starts off slow but after a few moments he's slamming himself down so hard i thought he might hurt himself. But he's enjoying it obviously by how loud his moans are and so am i. 

"daddy~ need you~" he says in between moans and pants. I reach forward and grab his cock, stroking it lazily as he continues to ride me. It only takes a few minutes for him to completely lose it. "c-can i cum?" he stutters out, near his breaking point. 

"no baby, hold it in for daddy, not until after daddy finishes" I respond. he just nods and bounces up and down faster. After a few moments of this, i'm near my climax. He notices and goes faster, moaning my name. Just hearing him moan my name that loud is enough to send me into pure ecstasy. I cum inside of him and he just moans at the feeling at the feeling of me inside of him. "you've done so good, cum for me princess" i say, still stroking him. That's all it took for him to come toppling over the edge. Hot white liquid comes out and covers my hand and stomach. Tyler pushes off of me and lays down, panting. I grab some kleenex's to wipe myself off and some on the cum dripping down tyler's thigh.

"we're not gonna get to do this when Jenna gets here and that's really upsetting" Tyler says, staring at the ceiling.

"not as often as we'd like but we'll get around her" I say reassuring him. He just pouts and nods. "I love you and we'll get through this i promise you that" I say, trying to get him to feel better. He just nods again. I feel like Blurry's about to make an appearance. This is not what i had planned.


	6. Chapter 6

Tyler got up and got dressed before Jenna got here and i decided to do the same. I don't want her finding out about us. Tyler fixes his hair and washes his face but his movements were off. he cared way too much that his hair was perfect and the washcloth was folded the right way. This isn't Tyler anymore, this is Blurry. I sigh and grab my hitter and my weed. I sit on the couch and start to smoke. I'm so stressed. We have a show later, and Jenna's gonna be here, and Blurry's here. I just hope he doesn't get the best of Tyler right now. I smoke about 4 hitters and i'm completely fucked up. I grab a red bull and look over at tyler who's currently cleaning his ukulele. 

"when does Jenna get here?" I ask him. 

"Any moment now" Tyler says, but his voice is deeper. No doubt it's Blurry. I drink some of my red bull and get on twitter. A few seconds after i pull out my phone i hear the door to the bus open and there she is. Jenna black in all her glory. She runs over and literally tackles Tyler in a hug. Tyler is just stiff as a board. Well Blurry i guess. 

"Jenna be careful he's not himself right now." I say hinting at the fact Blurry took over. 

"what are you talking about? Ty why didn't you hug me back?" She asks in a whiney pouty voice. Oh my god this ignorant-. i'm just going to cut my thought off there because some things just shouldn't be there i suppose. I pull her aside and Tyler sits up, fixing his shirt and hair.

"It's not Tyler, it's Blurry right now" I say and her face gets contorted with concern. 

"Oh no my baby" She walks back over to Tyler and forces his head onto her should and plays with his hair. She's whispering in his ear but i don't know what she's saying but he's completely silent. Honestly he looks really uncomfortable. I would have intervened earlier when she shoved his face into her chest. He's not even into her. I walk over and wiggle my way between Tyler and Jenna.

I pull Tyler onto my lap and rub his back gently "Will you come back to me please? I miss my sweet smiley Tyler. I know you're in there. you're stronger than this. Beat him Tyjo, beat blurry's ass" I say softly. After about 5 minutes of me softly rubs his back and whispering encouragements Tyler comes back. Jenna's in complete shock and it looks like disgust. Tyler smiles sweetly at me.

"thank you joshie" he says smiling and then looks over seeing Jenna. His face drops a little but he tries to keep his smile there. it's just different when he looks at her. His eyes aren't as bright and his smile isn't as wide. He crawls off of my lap and hesitantly kisses Jenna's cheek. "Hey babe" he says in a soft voice and glances at me uncomfortably. I just shake my head and stand up. 

"I'll be back later" I walk out of the bus. I'm gonna go walk around because i can't be in the same room as Tyler and Jenna. I walk around for about an hour, high as hell and just staring at trees because they're so damn pretty. Like Tyler. Tyler's pretty. My pretty princess. I miss my princess. I'm gonna go back i finally decided. I walk onto the bus and damn near have a brain aneurysm. Jenna has Tyler pinned down to the bed and they're hardcore making out. Tyler has a few hickies that aren't from me. What the fuck. He'll get punished for those later but right now i have to deal with the fact that she's straddling my boyfriend. Tyler immediately pulls away, flushed and blushing. He pushes her off of him and tries to adjust himself. There's so much anger inside of me right now i just want to punish the hell out him but i can't because Jenna's here. She looks pissed. Her face is red with anger and her eyebrows are furrowed together. Me and Tyler are just staring at each other. He looks like a deer caught in headlights honestly. I have my arms across my across my chest and i'm frowning hella hardcore. 

"what the hell is going on with you two? You're both acting like a cheating couple. Josh it's like you just walked in on your cheating girlfriend and Tyler you're acting like you just got caught cheati-" she cuts herself off. 

"wait are you guys together or something? Is this who you've been cheating on me with?" 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops i've been gone for too long but i'm here and i have 10 minutes to write this

\---josh POV---

"Jenna no. you're being ridiculous. Of course we're not. I'm just uncomfortable with walking in on my best friend almost having sex. kinda awkward don't you think?" I say, rolling my eyes.

"oh yeah, that does make sense," Jenna says and looks more comforted.

"and I haven't cheated on you, Jen. how many time do I have to tell you that? why don't you just trust me?" Tyler says looking at Jenna. wow, he's really convincing. Maybe I'm nothing to him. maybe he doesn't consider it cheating. What the fuck. I look over at Tyler with tears filling up in my eyes. I do everything for him. everything.

"I'm sorry ty. I'm going to go out for a bit to look around and shop some. I'll let you two go back to wrestling and that stuff" She says smiling and kisses tyler. Tyler kisses back and I just lean against the wall, arms crossed and tears streaming down my face. Jenna doesn't even look at me when she leaves and Tyler just stares after her. When the door shuts he stares for a few more seconds with a small smile on his face before he finally looks at me. 

"josh what's wrong?" he says, not getting up. He just looks at me with a small pout.

"Tyler if you don't love me just say it. Tell me you never loved me. Tell me I was just a fuck when Jenna was gone." I say, my voice cracking. I've never felt this bad.

"Josh that's not tru-"

"TYLER JUST FUCKING SAY IT!" i yell at him.

"I'm sorry Josh. You were what i needed, not what i wanted. Jenna's my one and only. we are married and I never said we were getting a divorce. I didn't think this was anything but an 'on tour' type thing." Tyler finally explains.

everything makes sense now. why he never said 'i love you too'. why he never helped me when I was down. why he didn't want to come out. why he never stayed over when we were back home. it all makes sense. nothing was real. I was the one who fell for tyler. there were strings attached. he just said he wanted to keep it going so he would stay happy. so he'd have a quick fuck. he didn't care about me and i was stupid to think he did. i told myself not to fall for him. I was right, but now it's past the point of no return. I can't live a life without Tyler. He was my baby boy. my smile. my sunshine. my heart. my entire life. and i was nothing but a stain on the sheets to him. another body to claim. I was just the drummer in his band. i was. was.

I hate this. I hate him. I hate me more than anything.

I ran. i ran and ran and ran until i couldn't breathe and my lungs were on fire. I look to see where my legs have brought me. Trees, a tall overpass, water. perfect. I run up to the top of the overpass. I stand on the ledge.

I won't say i'm sorry because i'm not. I'm not sorry i fell in love with someone who would never love me. I'm not sorry for my life decisions. I'm not sorry about being gay. I'm not sorry. 

But this is what i need, not what i want.

Right tyler?

-fin- 


End file.
